Hello readers this is about the swamp life that we're to do and our class help you like it He arrived at the surface of the water and took a refreshing breath of air. Whilst keeping his body completely still, he glanced around the swamp with large, circular, green eyes.
After several moments, he slipped his enormous body beneath the surface of the water once again, and slithered off in search of food…
Swamp Life
My name is Joseph the crocodile. I poked my head up and then I went back down and swam across the murky water and crawled out and into another pond and I caught some fish in my jagged teeth and grabbed them in my claws and didn’t let them go. Then I went back to my dark abyss where I live with my family and we opened the fish up and took the bones out so we could eat them.
I was swimming in the swamp and then I found my friend Jack. Jack said he had just escaped Ramon the mysterious crocodile 19 minutes ago. So we came back with all the crocodiles to try and take him down. Ramon the crocodile was sneaky and was behind us and one by one he started to take out our crocodile friends and family.
Kia ora Alex. I really enjoyed reading your story. Congratualtions on using descriptive language which makes your story more interetsing. Ramon certainly sounds like a sneaky character indeed!
ReplyDeleteHi Alex, or should I say Joseph the crocodile
ReplyDeleteYou have made this story really riveting with all the descriptive language you have used. I really enjoyed reading it.
Another way to add excitement to a story is to use shorter sentences, maybe try and use only one "and" then start a new sentence.
Keep posting your stories, they are awesome
It's great to see you sharing your work to your blog Alex! Ka pai to mahi! Good work!
ReplyDelete